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The Essentials for Adoption Attuned Parenting

The Essentials for Adoption Attuned Parenting explores how parents can best relate and connect to their adopted child. Join Growing Intentional Families Together Coaches to discover tips and tools using Adoption Attuned Parenting and build a strong foundation for your adoptive family.
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Now displaying: Page 1
Jun 21, 2022

Join hosts, adoptive parents and adoption coaches, Susan David and Gayle Swift, as they focus on mothering and how we can nurture respectful, healthy relationships between ourselves and our children's birth moms. With so many competing emotions in adoption, all three parties in the adoption constellation -- birth mother, adoptee, and adoptive mother -- can wrestle with fear of rejection and of not being good enough. It could be easy to fall into seeing one another as competitors, sometimes even as adversaries. How much better would it be if we can actually see ourselves as allies joined by a common mission: to ensure the health and wellbeing of our children. Join the discussion!

May 19, 2022

It is that time of year again -- we just honored mothers on their special day, graduations of all sorts are being celebrated, and Father's Day is just around the corner. Join hosts Susan David and Gayle Swift as they revisit a previous episode discussing how to manage holiday celebrations, the Adoption Attuned way. 

Apr 21, 2022

Adoption coaches, Susan David and Gayle Swift, are joined by special guest, adoption consultant Abby Jacobson as she shares her personal adoptee experience that now assists her in understanding the unique issues that adoptees face. Abby's  candid sharing is refreshing, informative, and one of inspiration for adoptees and the families that love them.  Learn more about Abby Jacobson at www.adoptionconsultant.net

Abby Jacobson is a professional Adoption Consultant bringing over 20 years of experience from her previous career as a psychotherapist & substance abuse counselor. Additionally, she has received training as a National Adoption Competency Mental Health Provider.

With her knowledge of family systems & networking, it is her aim to provide support to individuals who have experienced the process of adoption, both adults & youth alike. Coming from a family with 4 generations of adoptions, this is an issue she is very familiar with and which originally led her into the field of counseling. 

Created in 2021, Abby Jacobson’s Adoption Consultant business grew out of her dedication of working with others: being a former foster child, becoming an adoptee at age 14 & then completing her degree in psychotherapy, a field she practiced in for over 20 years.

Her mission is to provide a safe, trustworthy platform by which adoptees can share their stories while establishing their self identities. It is her goal to assist other adoptees as they navigate and define their own perceptions of identity.

Mar 19, 2022

Join hosts, adoption coaches and adoptive parents, Susan David and Gayle Swift, as they discuss Adoption Attuned parenting strategies.  This month, they'll focus on 5 of the unique, additional, and essential characteristics that adoptive parents need to parent well. Parenting is surely a tough job and adoptive parenting is parenting on steroids! But parenting well is achievable with intention, preparation, and education.  Listen in on the discussion of five of the most essential qualities adoptive parents need.  And since we are in March, a little luck couldn't hurt either!         

Feb 12, 2022

At the heart of every conversation is a desire to connect with another person. Too often our words land in an unintended way. Mismatches are not uncommon in conversations between parent and child. So what can we parents do to avoid these conversation mishaps?     

Join hosts, adoption coaches and parents, Susan David and Gayle Swift, as they discuss how to listen so your kids feel seen, heard, and loved. As always, the discussion is Adoption attuned and child centric.     

Jan 19, 2022

Join adoption coaches and parents, Susan David and Gayle Swift as they  host special guest, adoption coach and consultant, and adoptee, Sharon Butler-Obazee.  They'll be discussing ideas for making your new year's parenting resolutions Adoption attuned and child centric. Make resolutions that are solid for 2022 and beyond. 

Ms. Obazee is a well-trained and experienced coach with lived understanding of the adoption experience. She recently joined Susan and Gayle as adoption coach and consultant at Growing Intentional Families Together, LLC and brings to adoptive and prospective adoptive families her unique perspective.  You may also find Sharon at Coaching to Impact .

Growing Intentional Families Together’s Adoption Attunement Intelligence (“AQ”) framework encourages adoptive parents to

*Operate with a child-centric focus

*Follow ethical practices

*Acknowledge the grief and loss issues of all members in the adoption constellation

*Understand the attachment process

*Respect birth parents and first families

*Recognize adoption as a family experience

*Honor a child’s need to know and connect with their birth family

*Integrate a child’s birth heritage

*Remember a child’s story belongs to them

*Model, teach, and hold healthy boundaries

*Use sound adoption language

*Embrace, when appropriate, moments to enlighten family, friends, teachers, and faith communities about adoption

*Encourage playfulness and good humor as a family value

*Nurture and value a child’s innate talents and encourage them to be themselves

*Recognize the Seven Core Issues of Adoption

*Adoptive parenting is different from bio parenting and incudes unique responsibilities and challenges

 

 

Nov 8, 2021

Join hosts, adoption coaches and adoptive parents, Susan David and Gayle Swift, as they interview adoption author, adoptee, and  adoptee genealogist, Lynn Grubb for an enlightening first discussion about genetic genealogy for adoptees. Lynn lets us in on what you need to know before starting and some other considerations you might not have considered. As always, your hosts focus on Adoption Attuned practices that help families  raise healthy and happy adopted children.  

Our guest, Lynn Grubb, offers a variety of perspectives:  she is an Adoptee, a Kinship Adoptive Parent, and Editor of the The Adoptee Survival Guide: Adoptees Share Their Wisdom and Tools. Lynn also writes at her blog, No Apologies for Being Me

Born in Chicago, Illinois in the middle of the Baby Scoop Era, Lynn grew up wondering where she came from and why she was given up for adoption.  

 At the age of 40, Lynn embarked on a search for her roots, had a reunion with her maternal family and fourteen years later, found her birth father thanks to genetic genealogy  She is currently working on a memoir to be published in 2021. Lynn also serves as  “The Adopted Genealogist” on Facebook where she uses her expertise to help other adoptees find family.

Lynn writes from the perspective of many hats: adult adoptee, kinship adoptive parent, step-parent, biological parent and child advocate.  When not writing, you can find her at any live concert. She currently serves as President of the Adoptee Rights Coalition, which advocates for adopted people to receive equal access to their original birth certificates.

Aug 18, 2021

Join hosts, adoption coaches and adoptive parents, Susan David and Gayle Swift, as they discuss Gayle's recent book, co-authored with adoptive parent and adoption coach, Sally Ankerfelt,  Reimagining Adoption: What Adoptees Seek from Families and Faith.  Their book has been well received by both faith communities and those in the adoption constellation and blends personal experience, expert insights, adoptee interviews, trauma research, and scriptural interpretation so The Church and the Christian community can re-envision adoption to better serve adoptees and their families. Gayle and Sally's book has recently won the prestigious Illuminations Award, given to “honor the year’s best new titles written and published with a Christian worldview.”

Sally Ankerfelt has worked with individuals and families for over 26 years as an ordained Lutheran pastor in the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. She also holds a Certificate in Trauma Studies from the University of Minnesota. Serving South Minneapolis congregants for 14 years, she guided them in their vision to become "a trauma-informed" congregation. 

Sally is also an Adoption Coach with Growing Intentional Families Together, LLC. And as author, Sally’s writing on ambiguous loss can be seen in the March/April 2019 Fostering Families Today national magazine.

Being a white adoptive parent of three children of color, she is committed to upholding conversations about adoption, race, and white privilege.  She and her husband, Dan, are adoptive parents to three children: one child adopted internationally, one through an open adoption, and one through the foster care system.

Like Sally Ankerfelt, Gayle Swift is a co-founder of Growing Intentional Families Together, an adoption coach, and an adoptive parent. She writes both the GIFT blog and a children’s book blog that reviews books through an Adoption Attuned lens. Gayle’s articles have been featured on Adoption.com, AmericaAdopts.com, Portrait of Adoption and more. She writes about adoption for adults and children.  Her books have all won awards. 

Gayle is also the new co-host of this podcast, Essentials for Adoption Attuned Parenting. 

 

Jul 22, 2021

Join hosts, adoption coaches and adoptive parents, Susan David and Gayle Swift, as they interview adoption author, adoptee,  adoptee genealogist, and adoptive parent, Lynn Grubb for an enlightening discussion about the adoptee experience. Let's continue to discover together Adoption Attuned considerations  as we strive to raise healthy and happy adopted children.  And for those of you with adult adopted children, what can you do now?

Lynn offers a variety of perspectives:  she is an Adoptee, a Kinship Adoptive Parent, and Editor of the The Adoptee Survival Guide: Adoptees Share Their Wisdom and Tools. Lynn also writes at her blog, No Apologies for Being Me

Born in Chicago, Illinois in the middle of the Baby Scoop Era, Lynn grew up wondering where she came from and why she was given up for adoption.  

 At the age of 40, Lynn embarked on a search for her roots, had a reunion with her maternal family and fourteen years later, found her birth father thanks to genetic genealogy  She is currently working on a memoir to be published in 2021. Lynn also serves as  “The Adopted Genealogist” on Facebook where she uses her expertise to help other adoptees find family.

Lynn writes from the perspective of many hats: adult adoptee, kinship adoptive parent, step-parent, biological parent and child advocate.  When not writing, you can find her at any live concert. She currently serves as President of the Adoptee Rights Coalition, which advocates for adopted people to receive equal access to their original birth certificates.

 

Jun 17, 2021

  Join us as we listen to a special reading of GIFT coach, adoptive parent, and award winning author, Gayle Swift as she reads, The Blessing of Fatherhood.  

May 20, 2021

This is a previous edition originally broadcast in February 2020. Join adoption coaches and adoptive parents, Joann DiStefano and Susan David, as they discuss a few of the adoption myths that persist in our culture.   

Apr 20, 2021

Join hosts, adoption coaches and adoptive parents, Joann DiStefano and Susan David of Growing Intentional Families Together as they host special guest, author and adoption writer, Lori Holden for a discussion about the benefits of openness in adoption.  

Lori’s book The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption: Helping Your Child Grow Up Whole is on required reading lists at adoption agencies around the country, offering guidance on how parents can help their children heal the split between their biology and their biography. Her teachings help adoptive families of all types (foster, international, domestic) grasp the benefits of openness, regardless of contact with a child’s birth parents. Lori helps adoption professionals and adoptive parents shift from an Either/Or paradigm that “splits the baby,” to a BothAnd paradigm that comes from better understanding adoptee experiences. Lori encourages us to parent with openness and intention.

Lori lives near Denver, CO. She and her husband are parents-by-adoption to young adults. She has been listening to adoption perspectives during her 14 years of writing at the award-winning site, LavenderLuz.com. She is also host of the monthly podcast  Adoption: The Long View  and features interviews with adoption experts on timely adoption related topics -- all with the goal of making adoption a kinder, gentler,  and healthier experience for adoptees and those that love them.   

Mar 22, 2021

Adoptive parents and GIFT Family Services' adoption coaches, Joann DiStefano and Susan David are joined by special guest, UK adoption coach and adoptee, Simon Benn. His work with children focuses on showing parents how to help their children be happy, build their children's confidence and strengthen their resilience.

This is the 2nd part of a 2-part interview with Coach Simon and he'll share both his breakthrough T.H.R.I.V.E. model -- Trauma release - overcoming adoption trauma, Healing - repairing emotional wounds, Resilience - bouncing back from setbacks, Identity - learning who you really are, Vision - mapping out your future, and Enjoyment - loving your life -- and how it can help other adoptees to reach happiness.   

Simon Benn, adopted at 5 years old, hails from England. He's a busy coach focusing on showing parents how to help their children be happy, build their children's confidence and strengthen their resilience.  He's been featured in several publications and has coached all over the world. Simon is an avid "supporter/encourager" of adoption, making it healthier and happier.      

 

Mar 17, 2021

Join hosts, GIFT adoption coaches and adoptive parents, Joann DiStefano and Susan David, as they discuss the longing for all people to belong, especially our adoptive children. The saying is that we're all a little Irish on St. Patty's Day; it's both a call for merriment and to be part of the "in" crowd. While we nor our ancestors may not hail from the Emerald Isle, let's explore a few ways to help our kids know who they truly are as they journey forward, Irish or not!

Feb 24, 2021

Adoptive parents and GIFT Family Services' adoption coaches, Joann DiStefano and Susan David are joined by special guest, UK adoption coach and adoptee, Simon Benn. His work with children focuses on showing parents how to help their children be happy, build their children's confidence and strengthen their resilience. In this episode we learn his "story" that led to his work empowering adoptees and adopters to break through to T.H.R.I.V.E., an acronym described by Trauma release - overcoming adoption trauma, Healing - repairing emotional wounds, Resilience - bouncing back from setbacks, Identity - learning who you really are, Vision - mapping out your future, and Enjoyment - loving your life. 

This is the 1st part of a 2-part interview with Coach Simon. Part 1  reveals how his past informed his present work. In Part 2, he shares his T.H.R.I.V.E. model and how it can help other adoptees to breakthrough to happiness.    

     

Jan 23, 2021

Join adoptive coaches, Joann DiStefano and Susan David as  they discuss the importance of "giving voice" to adopted children. They talk about how adoptees' voices are sometimes minimized and offer suggestions on how to adoptive parents can be better listeners.    

Dec 15, 2020

Adoptive parents, adoption coaches and long time hosts of The Essentials for Adoption Attuned Parenting, Joann DiStefano and Susan David are joined by colleague, Sally Ankerfelt to discuss GIFT's upcoming Subscription Series by the same name. Sally and Susan highlight the first course in the series, Getting It Together Before You Adopt, designed for those who are just beginning to think about the adoption option.     

Oct 21, 2020

Join adoption coaches and adoptive parents, Joann DiStefano and Susan David, as they discuss the importance of connection for our adopted children during this difficult COVID 19 era. Listen to a few ideas they share about how to connect. They encourage parents to be Adoption-attuned as they intentionally create rapport and connection with their children, yet following their children's lead as to what works best for them. 

Sep 30, 2020

Join hosts adoption coaches and adoptive parents, Joann DiStefano and Susan David, for a discussion on the importance of handling the disappointments of infertility or the burden of financing an adoption early rather than later so that pain and resentment does not get in the way of  building a solid relationship with  your adopted child.

Sep 3, 2020

Join hosts, adoption coaches and adoptive parents, Joann DiStefano and Susan David, for a discussion about a less explored but very important aspect of Adoption-attunement (AQ), follows ethical practices. 

Jul 29, 2020

Join adoption coaches and parents, Joann DiStefano and Susan David as they  host the fourth and final episode of  a series dedicated to adoption-attuned parenting and the quest for racial equity.  They'll be joined once again by colleagues, Gayle Swift and Sally Ankerfelt, for an interview with special guest, adoption coach and adoptee, Sharon Obazee. Ms. Obazee brings her unique perspective and shares her thoughts on transracial adoption and how we can make a difference in our actions, words, families & communities with a lens particulalrly focused on the intersection of race and adoption.

 

 

Jul 21, 2020

Adoption coaches and parents, Joann DiStefano and Susan David host the third in a four part series of special editions of Essentials for Adoption-attuned Parenting.  They'll be joined once again by colleagues, Gayle Swift and Sally Ankerfelt, for an interview with  special guest Lola Adebara, Founder and Executive Director of Minneapolis based Partnerships for Permanence. Ms. Adebara has a wide variety of social work experience and she'll share how how we can assist adopted and foster young adults to not only to dream big but  develop the tools needed for their success. 

Jun 30, 2020

Adoption coaches and parents, Joann DiStefano and Susan David host the second in a four part series of special editions of Essentials for Adoption-attuned Parenting.  Joined by their colleagues, Gayle Swift and Sally Ankerfelt, they discuss recent events in our country calling for racial justice and how that relates to adopted children of color. They'll share a coaches' perspective on what adoptive families can do to best attune to their adopted children of color 

Jun 24, 2020

Adoption coaches and parents, Joann DiStefano and Susan David  host a special edition of Essentials for Adoption-attuned Parenting.  Joined by their colleagues, Gayle Swift and Sally Ankerfelt, they discuss  recent events in our country calling for racial justice and how that relates to adopted children of color. They share some of the things they could have done better or differently as adoptive parents including believing in the false promise of color blindness. 

Jun 19, 2020

Join your hosts, adoptive parents and adoption coaches, Joann DiStefano and Susan David as they discuss listening to understand your adoptive children rather than to refute, solve, or soothe their concerns or problems. Allowing our children to speak truth aloud is part of Intentional Parenting and Adoption-attunement (AQ) practices that can help us build a more loving and trusting relationship with our children. 

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