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The Essentials for Adoption Attuned Parenting

The Essentials for Adoption Attuned Parenting explores how parents can best relate and connect to their adopted child. Join Growing Intentional Families Together Coaches to discover tips and tools using Adoption Attuned Parenting and build a strong foundation for your adoptive family.
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Now displaying: Page 1
Nov 8, 2023
Join adoptive parents and adoption coaches, Susan David and Gayle Swift, as they discuss observing National Adoption Month. As adoptive parents, we probably already think and talk a lot about adoption. And this month,  we might even find ourselves sharing on social media smiling, happy photos. After all, adoption helped us build a family!  Why wouldn't we be excited?  But how would it be if our conversations acknowledged adopting from the adoptees' perspective and not just as adoptive parents?  Adoption Attuned Parenting encourages us to do our part to talk about all aspects of adoption with our adopted children. We could also choose in this special month to spread awareness about adoption to our family, friends, and community so that they have a deeper understanding and empathy for our adoptees. Adoption does matter so let's talk about it!
 
Apr 21, 2023

Listen to excerpts from Growing Intentional Families Together's Discovery Webinar Is Adopting a Child Right for Me? 

Hosts, adoptive parents, and adoption coaches, Susan David and Gayle Swift, continue their hiatus 'til June. Meantime, they've been busy working with their colleagues and have recently launched Is Adopting a Child Right for Me? Child-centric and adoption attuned, it’s a six-module, on-demand course that offers information, preparation, and competency to make that important, life-changing decision to adopt a child ... or not. Learn more about what’s covered in the course here on this 58th episode of The Essentials for Adoption Attuned Parenting 

More information about this course as well as access to a free on-demand discovery webinar with Susan and Gayle and their colleagues at Growing Intentional Families Together can be found at www.giftfamilyservices.com. 

Mar 16, 2023

Join hosts, adoptive parents, and adoption coaches, Susan David and Gayle Swift, as they discuss their upcoming course, Is Adopting a Child Right for Me? Child-centric and adoption attuned, it’s a six-module, on-demand course that offers information, preparation, and competency to make that important, life-changing decision to adopt a child ... or not.  

More information about this upcoming course as well as a free discovery webinar with Susan and Gayle and their colleagues at Growing Intentional Families Together can be found at www.giftfamilyservices.com.  

Feb 17, 2023

Taking a break is an opportunity to catch a breath, reassess, and tweak ... SO this episode is a rebroadcast as your hosts take a winter-into-spring hiatus. Join us for new episodes in June!   

A desire to connect with another person is at the heart of every conversation. Too often our words land in an unintended way. Mismatches are not uncommon in conversations between parent and child. So what can we parents do to avoid these conversation mishaps?     

Join hosts, adoption coaches, and parents, Susan David and Gayle Swift, as they discuss how to listen so your kids feel seen, heard, and loved. As always, the discussion is Adoption Attuned and child-centric.   

A note from your hosts:  

Deeper listening questions/comments referenced in this episode include: 

I see this is hard for you ... Do you want me to …

  • Simply listen or….
  • Offer suggestions or …
  • Get involved and if so, what are your ideas about how to handle this?

Offer empathy, so they see we "get" their pain, anger, frustration, and disappointments and then eventually, ask them what they are learning from this.

  • How will it help them to do things differently moving forward?
  • Will this be a temporary or permanent challenge?
  • How does it require them to adjust their long-term goals?
  • What skills/knowledge does this challenge reveal they need to address?
  • Get clear about whose problem it is?
  • How does their problem create situations that they need to face?
  • How does this problem create a situation that we parents might need to address?
  • How do we disentangle the factors so each of us is clear whose stuff is whose?
Jan 26, 2023

Join adoptive parents and adoption coaches, Susan David and Gayle Swift, as they discuss 4 EASY things to do as resolutions for the year ahead. These suggestions were designed with the holiday weary listener in mind. They remain applicable as we move further along in the coming year. Like all parents, adoptive moms and dads can neglect their own self-care and this can affect how we "show up" with our kids. So together in this short episode, let's review and resolve so that we can be the adoption attuned parents our kids need.        

Dec 21, 2022

Join adoptive parents and adoption coaches, Susan David and Gayle Swift, as they discuss how to go about building an Adoption Attuned Library. Last month they discussed "The Top Six Reasons You Want an Adoption Attuned Library." And now in this follow-up episode, 3 types of readers are addressed and an example of how a specific book for each type fits the bill of Adoption Attunement is identified. All under the umbrella of Adoption Attuned Parenting, from accurate information to evoking empathic responses, you'll learn how an Adoption Attuned library can be invaluable for helping families address many complex adoption issues.       

Nov 16, 2022

Join adoptive parents and adoption coaches, Susan David and Gayle Swift, as they discuss why its important to develop a family library that is Adoption Attuned. 

Books serve as an immensely valuable tool for helping families address adoption complexity. And, a loving parent’s lap offers the perfect, safe place to share a book. So you can see why developing a well stocked adoption library can help adopted kids talk about this significant part of their family. Both parent and child benefit in powerful ways. Let’s get started and discuss the Six Top Reasons You Want an Adoption Attuned Family Library.

Oct 26, 2022

Did you realize that adoptive parenting and hurricane preparedness have a lot in common? Think of it as “hope for the best yet prepare for the worst.” 

Join adoptive parents and adoption coaches, Susan David and Gayle Swift, as they discuss how preparing to be an adoptive parent is like storm preparation. We can’t think that challenging parent/child issues won’t head our way. We can’t think, "Not my kids or It will never happen to us." It can. In fact, it almost certainly will! Perhaps it will be the equivalent of a Category 1 storm. Perhaps it will be more like a Category 5. Certainly, it is better to be prepared than to be blindsided by challenges as we raise our adopted children. 

Sep 21, 2022

Join hosts, adoptive parents and adoption coaches, Susan David and Gayle Swift, as they celebrate 50 episodes of The Essentials for Adoption Attuned Parenting.  Susan and Gayle discuss special podcast highlights including: 

  • Adoption Attunement' foundational truths
  • How coaching can benefit adoptive families
  • The gains and the losses for all in the adoption constellation
  • Why appropriate adoption language matters
  • The authoritative sources behind the Adoption Attuned approach
  • Special guests that have further enlightened us 
  • Shared experiences that shaped our lives 
  • Holiday celebrations for the Adoption Attuned family

 

    

Aug 17, 2022

Hosts Susan David and Gayle Swift have taken an August hiatus to spend some time with family, friends and extended relatives!  

Please join them for a rebroadcast  of their interview with adoption author, adoptee, and adoptee genealogist, Lynn Grubb for an enlightening first discussion about genetic genealogy for adoptees. Lynn lets us in on what you need to know before starting to search and some other considerations you might not have considered. As always, your hosts focus on Adoption Attuned practices that help families raise healthy and happy adopted children.  

Our guest, Lynn Grubb, offers a variety of perspectives:  she is an Adoptee, a Kinship Adoptive Parent, and Editor of the The Adoptee Survival Guide: Adoptees Share Their Wisdom and Tools. Lynn also writes at her blog, No Apologies for Being Me

Born in Chicago, Illinois in the middle of the Baby Scoop Era, Lynn grew up wondering where she came from and why she was given up for adoption.  

 At the age of 40, Lynn embarked on a search for her roots, had a reunion with her maternal family and fourteen years later, found her birth father thanks to genetic genealogy  She is currently working on a memoir to be published in 2021. Lynn also serves as  “The Adopted Genealogist” on Facebook where she uses her expertise to help other adoptees find family.

Lynn writes from the perspective of many hats: adult adoptee, kinship adoptive parent, step-parent, biological parent and child advocate.  When not writing, you can find her at any live concert. She currently serves as President of the Adoptee Rights Coalition, which advocates for adopted people to receive equal access to their original birth certificates.

Jul 19, 2022

Join adoptive parents and adoption coaches, Susan David and Gayle Swift, as they discuss how we can make our adopted children -- all children -- feel safer in a world that is currently experiencing many events that make us all afraid. It seems as if violence is permeating our world whether here in the United States or thousands of miles away. So what do we find ourselves doing to deal with this fear and what might we do differently that would be more effective? Your hosts of The Essentials for Adoption Attuned Parenting suggest 9 simple ways to help kids feel safe. 

https://giftfamilyservices.com/9-simple-ways-to-help-kids-feel-safe/

Jun 21, 2022

Join hosts, adoptive parents and adoption coaches, Susan David and Gayle Swift, as they focus on mothering and how we can nurture respectful, healthy relationships between ourselves and our children's birth moms. With so many competing emotions in adoption, all three parties in the adoption constellation -- birth mother, adoptee, and adoptive mother -- can wrestle with fear of rejection and of not being good enough. It could be easy to fall into seeing one another as competitors, sometimes even as adversaries. How much better would it be if we can actually see ourselves as allies joined by a common mission: to ensure the health and wellbeing of our children. Join the discussion!

May 19, 2022

It is that time of year again -- we just honored mothers on their special day, graduations of all sorts are being celebrated, and Father's Day is just around the corner. Join hosts Susan David and Gayle Swift as they revisit a previous episode discussing how to manage holiday celebrations, the Adoption Attuned way. 

Apr 21, 2022

Adoption coaches, Susan David and Gayle Swift, are joined by special guest, adoption consultant Abby Jacobson as she shares her personal adoptee experience that now assists her in understanding the unique issues that adoptees face. Abby's  candid sharing is refreshing, informative, and one of inspiration for adoptees and the families that love them.  Learn more about Abby Jacobson at www.adoptionconsultant.net

Abby Jacobson is a professional Adoption Consultant bringing over 20 years of experience from her previous career as a psychotherapist & substance abuse counselor. Additionally, she has received training as a National Adoption Competency Mental Health Provider.

With her knowledge of family systems & networking, it is her aim to provide support to individuals who have experienced the process of adoption, both adults & youth alike. Coming from a family with 4 generations of adoptions, this is an issue she is very familiar with and which originally led her into the field of counseling. 

Created in 2021, Abby Jacobson’s Adoption Consultant business grew out of her dedication of working with others: being a former foster child, becoming an adoptee at age 14 & then completing her degree in psychotherapy, a field she practiced in for over 20 years.

Her mission is to provide a safe, trustworthy platform by which adoptees can share their stories while establishing their self identities. It is her goal to assist other adoptees as they navigate and define their own perceptions of identity.

Mar 19, 2022

Join hosts, adoption coaches and adoptive parents, Susan David and Gayle Swift, as they discuss Adoption Attuned parenting strategies.  This month, they'll focus on 5 of the unique, additional, and essential characteristics that adoptive parents need to parent well. Parenting is surely a tough job and adoptive parenting is parenting on steroids! But parenting well is achievable with intention, preparation, and education.  Listen in on the discussion of five of the most essential qualities adoptive parents need.  And since we are in March, a little luck couldn't hurt either!         

Feb 12, 2022

At the heart of every conversation is a desire to connect with another person. Too often our words land in an unintended way. Mismatches are not uncommon in conversations between parent and child. So what can we parents do to avoid these conversation mishaps?     

Join hosts, adoption coaches and parents, Susan David and Gayle Swift, as they discuss how to listen so your kids feel seen, heard, and loved. As always, the discussion is Adoption attuned and child centric.     

Jan 19, 2022

Join adoption coaches and parents, Susan David and Gayle Swift as they  host special guest, adoption coach and consultant, and adoptee, Sharon Butler-Obazee.  They'll be discussing ideas for making your new year's parenting resolutions Adoption attuned and child centric. Make resolutions that are solid for 2022 and beyond. 

Ms. Obazee is a well-trained and experienced coach with lived understanding of the adoption experience. She recently joined Susan and Gayle as adoption coach and consultant at Growing Intentional Families Together, LLC and brings to adoptive and prospective adoptive families her unique perspective.  You may also find Sharon at Coaching to Impact .

Growing Intentional Families Together’s Adoption Attunement Intelligence (“AQ”) framework encourages adoptive parents to

*Operate with a child-centric focus

*Follow ethical practices

*Acknowledge the grief and loss issues of all members in the adoption constellation

*Understand the attachment process

*Respect birth parents and first families

*Recognize adoption as a family experience

*Honor a child’s need to know and connect with their birth family

*Integrate a child’s birth heritage

*Remember a child’s story belongs to them

*Model, teach, and hold healthy boundaries

*Use sound adoption language

*Embrace, when appropriate, moments to enlighten family, friends, teachers, and faith communities about adoption

*Encourage playfulness and good humor as a family value

*Nurture and value a child’s innate talents and encourage them to be themselves

*Recognize the Seven Core Issues of Adoption

*Adoptive parenting is different from bio parenting and incudes unique responsibilities and challenges

 

 

Nov 8, 2021

Join hosts, adoption coaches and adoptive parents, Susan David and Gayle Swift, as they interview adoption author, adoptee, and  adoptee genealogist, Lynn Grubb for an enlightening first discussion about genetic genealogy for adoptees. Lynn lets us in on what you need to know before starting and some other considerations you might not have considered. As always, your hosts focus on Adoption Attuned practices that help families  raise healthy and happy adopted children.  

Our guest, Lynn Grubb, offers a variety of perspectives:  she is an Adoptee, a Kinship Adoptive Parent, and Editor of the The Adoptee Survival Guide: Adoptees Share Their Wisdom and Tools. Lynn also writes at her blog, No Apologies for Being Me

Born in Chicago, Illinois in the middle of the Baby Scoop Era, Lynn grew up wondering where she came from and why she was given up for adoption.  

 At the age of 40, Lynn embarked on a search for her roots, had a reunion with her maternal family and fourteen years later, found her birth father thanks to genetic genealogy  She is currently working on a memoir to be published in 2021. Lynn also serves as  “The Adopted Genealogist” on Facebook where she uses her expertise to help other adoptees find family.

Lynn writes from the perspective of many hats: adult adoptee, kinship adoptive parent, step-parent, biological parent and child advocate.  When not writing, you can find her at any live concert. She currently serves as President of the Adoptee Rights Coalition, which advocates for adopted people to receive equal access to their original birth certificates.

Aug 18, 2021

Join hosts, adoption coaches and adoptive parents, Susan David and Gayle Swift, as they discuss Gayle's recent book, co-authored with adoptive parent and adoption coach, Sally Ankerfelt,  Reimagining Adoption: What Adoptees Seek from Families and Faith.  Their book has been well received by both faith communities and those in the adoption constellation and blends personal experience, expert insights, adoptee interviews, trauma research, and scriptural interpretation so The Church and the Christian community can re-envision adoption to better serve adoptees and their families. Gayle and Sally's book has recently won the prestigious Illuminations Award, given to “honor the year’s best new titles written and published with a Christian worldview.”

Sally Ankerfelt has worked with individuals and families for over 26 years as an ordained Lutheran pastor in the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. She also holds a Certificate in Trauma Studies from the University of Minnesota. Serving South Minneapolis congregants for 14 years, she guided them in their vision to become "a trauma-informed" congregation. 

Sally is also an Adoption Coach with Growing Intentional Families Together, LLC. And as author, Sally’s writing on ambiguous loss can be seen in the March/April 2019 Fostering Families Today national magazine.

Being a white adoptive parent of three children of color, she is committed to upholding conversations about adoption, race, and white privilege.  She and her husband, Dan, are adoptive parents to three children: one child adopted internationally, one through an open adoption, and one through the foster care system.

Like Sally Ankerfelt, Gayle Swift is a co-founder of Growing Intentional Families Together, an adoption coach, and an adoptive parent. She writes both the GIFT blog and a children’s book blog that reviews books through an Adoption Attuned lens. Gayle’s articles have been featured on Adoption.com, AmericaAdopts.com, Portrait of Adoption and more. She writes about adoption for adults and children.  Her books have all won awards. 

Gayle is also the new co-host of this podcast, Essentials for Adoption Attuned Parenting. 

 

Jul 22, 2021

Join hosts, adoption coaches and adoptive parents, Susan David and Gayle Swift, as they interview adoption author, adoptee,  adoptee genealogist, and adoptive parent, Lynn Grubb for an enlightening discussion about the adoptee experience. Let's continue to discover together Adoption Attuned considerations  as we strive to raise healthy and happy adopted children.  And for those of you with adult adopted children, what can you do now?

Lynn offers a variety of perspectives:  she is an Adoptee, a Kinship Adoptive Parent, and Editor of the The Adoptee Survival Guide: Adoptees Share Their Wisdom and Tools. Lynn also writes at her blog, No Apologies for Being Me

Born in Chicago, Illinois in the middle of the Baby Scoop Era, Lynn grew up wondering where she came from and why she was given up for adoption.  

 At the age of 40, Lynn embarked on a search for her roots, had a reunion with her maternal family and fourteen years later, found her birth father thanks to genetic genealogy  She is currently working on a memoir to be published in 2021. Lynn also serves as  “The Adopted Genealogist” on Facebook where she uses her expertise to help other adoptees find family.

Lynn writes from the perspective of many hats: adult adoptee, kinship adoptive parent, step-parent, biological parent and child advocate.  When not writing, you can find her at any live concert. She currently serves as President of the Adoptee Rights Coalition, which advocates for adopted people to receive equal access to their original birth certificates.

 

Jun 17, 2021

  Join us as we listen to a special reading of GIFT coach, adoptive parent, and award winning author, Gayle Swift as she reads, The Blessing of Fatherhood.  

May 20, 2021

This is a previous edition originally broadcast in February 2020. Join adoption coaches and adoptive parents, Joann DiStefano and Susan David, as they discuss a few of the adoption myths that persist in our culture.   

Apr 20, 2021

Join hosts, adoption coaches and adoptive parents, Joann DiStefano and Susan David of Growing Intentional Families Together as they host special guest, author and adoption writer, Lori Holden for a discussion about the benefits of openness in adoption.  

Lori’s book The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption: Helping Your Child Grow Up Whole is on required reading lists at adoption agencies around the country, offering guidance on how parents can help their children heal the split between their biology and their biography. Her teachings help adoptive families of all types (foster, international, domestic) grasp the benefits of openness, regardless of contact with a child’s birth parents. Lori helps adoption professionals and adoptive parents shift from an Either/Or paradigm that “splits the baby,” to a BothAnd paradigm that comes from better understanding adoptee experiences. Lori encourages us to parent with openness and intention.

Lori lives near Denver, CO. She and her husband are parents-by-adoption to young adults. She has been listening to adoption perspectives during her 14 years of writing at the award-winning site, LavenderLuz.com. She is also host of the monthly podcast  Adoption: The Long View  and features interviews with adoption experts on timely adoption related topics -- all with the goal of making adoption a kinder, gentler,  and healthier experience for adoptees and those that love them.   

Mar 22, 2021

Adoptive parents and GIFT Family Services' adoption coaches, Joann DiStefano and Susan David are joined by special guest, UK adoption coach and adoptee, Simon Benn. His work with children focuses on showing parents how to help their children be happy, build their children's confidence and strengthen their resilience.

This is the 2nd part of a 2-part interview with Coach Simon and he'll share both his breakthrough T.H.R.I.V.E. model -- Trauma release - overcoming adoption trauma, Healing - repairing emotional wounds, Resilience - bouncing back from setbacks, Identity - learning who you really are, Vision - mapping out your future, and Enjoyment - loving your life -- and how it can help other adoptees to reach happiness.   

Simon Benn, adopted at 5 years old, hails from England. He's a busy coach focusing on showing parents how to help their children be happy, build their children's confidence and strengthen their resilience.  He's been featured in several publications and has coached all over the world. Simon is an avid "supporter/encourager" of adoption, making it healthier and happier.      

 

Mar 17, 2021

Join hosts, GIFT adoption coaches and adoptive parents, Joann DiStefano and Susan David, as they discuss the longing for all people to belong, especially our adoptive children. The saying is that we're all a little Irish on St. Patty's Day; it's both a call for merriment and to be part of the "in" crowd. While we nor our ancestors may not hail from the Emerald Isle, let's explore a few ways to help our kids know who they truly are as they journey forward, Irish or not!

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