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The Essentials for Adoption Attuned Parenting

The Essentials for Adoption Attuned Parenting explores how parents can best relate and connect to their adopted child. Join GIFT coaches to discover tips and tools using Adoption Attuned Parenting and build a strong foundation for your adoptive family.
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The Essentials for Adoption Attuned Parenting
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Nov 8, 2021

Join hosts, adoption coaches and adoptive parents, Susan David and Gayle Swift, as they interview adoption author, adoptee, and  adoptee genealogist, Lynn Grubb for an enlightening first discussion about genetic genealogy for adoptees. Lynn lets us in on what you need to know before starting and some other considerations you might not have considered. As always, your hosts focus on Adoption Attuned practices that help families  raise healthy and happy adopted children.  

Our guest, Lynn Grubb, offers a variety of perspectives:  she is an Adoptee, a Kinship Adoptive Parent, and Editor of the The Adoptee Survival Guide: Adoptees Share Their Wisdom and Tools. Lynn also writes at her blog, No Apologies for Being Me

Born in Chicago, Illinois in the middle of the Baby Scoop Era, Lynn grew up wondering where she came from and why she was given up for adoption.  

 At the age of 40, Lynn embarked on a search for her roots, had a reunion with her maternal family and fourteen years later, found her birth father thanks to genetic genealogy  She is currently working on a memoir to be published in 2021. Lynn also serves as  “The Adopted Genealogist” on Facebook where she uses her expertise to help other adoptees find family.

Lynn writes from the perspective of many hats: adult adoptee, kinship adoptive parent, step-parent, biological parent and child advocate.  When not writing, you can find her at any live concert. She currently serves as President of the Adoptee Rights Coalition, which advocates for adopted people to receive equal access to their original birth certificates.

Aug 18, 2021

Join hosts, adoption coaches and adoptive parents, Susan David and Gayle Swift, as they discuss Gayle's recent book, co-authored with adoptive parent and adoption coach, Sally Ankerfelt,  Reimagining Adoption: What Adoptees Seek from Families and Faith.  Their book has been well received by both faith communities and those in the adoption constellation and blends personal experience, expert insights, adoptee interviews, trauma research, and scriptural interpretation so The Church and the Christian community can re-envision adoption to better serve adoptees and their families. Gayle and Sally's book has recently won the prestigious Illuminations Award, given to “honor the year’s best new titles written and published with a Christian worldview.”

Sally Ankerfelt has worked with individuals and families for over 26 years as an ordained Lutheran pastor in the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. She also holds a Certificate in Trauma Studies from the University of Minnesota. Serving South Minneapolis congregants for 14 years, she guided them in their vision to become "a trauma-informed" congregation. 

Sally is also an Adoption Coach with Growing Intentional Families Together, LLC. And as author, Sally’s writing on ambiguous loss can be seen in the March/April 2019 Fostering Families Today national magazine.

Being a white adoptive parent of three children of color, she is committed to upholding conversations about adoption, race, and white privilege.  She and her husband, Dan, are adoptive parents to three children: one child adopted internationally, one through an open adoption, and one through the foster care system.

Like Sally Ankerfelt, Gayle Swift is a co-founder of Growing Intentional Families Together, an adoption coach, and an adoptive parent. She writes both the GIFT blog and a children’s book blog that reviews books through an Adoption Attuned lens. Gayle’s articles have been featured on Adoption.com, AmericaAdopts.com, Portrait of Adoption and more. She writes about adoption for adults and children.  Her books have all won awards. 

Gayle is also the new co-host of this podcast, Essentials for Adoption Attuned Parenting. 

 

Jul 22, 2021

Join hosts, adoption coaches and adoptive parents, Susan David and Gayle Swift, as they interview adoption author, adoptee,  adoptee genealogist, and adoptive parent, Lynn Grubb for an enlightening discussion about the adoptee experience. Let's continue to discover together Adoption Attuned considerations  as we strive to raise healthy and happy adopted children.  And for those of you with adult adopted children, what can you do now?

Lynn offers a variety of perspectives:  she is an Adoptee, a Kinship Adoptive Parent, and Editor of the The Adoptee Survival Guide: Adoptees Share Their Wisdom and Tools. Lynn also writes at her blog, No Apologies for Being Me

Born in Chicago, Illinois in the middle of the Baby Scoop Era, Lynn grew up wondering where she came from and why she was given up for adoption.  

 At the age of 40, Lynn embarked on a search for her roots, had a reunion with her maternal family and fourteen years later, found her birth father thanks to genetic genealogy  She is currently working on a memoir to be published in 2021. Lynn also serves as  “The Adopted Genealogist” on Facebook where she uses her expertise to help other adoptees find family.

Lynn writes from the perspective of many hats: adult adoptee, kinship adoptive parent, step-parent, biological parent and child advocate.  When not writing, you can find her at any live concert. She currently serves as President of the Adoptee Rights Coalition, which advocates for adopted people to receive equal access to their original birth certificates.

 

Jun 17, 2021

  Join us as we listen to a special reading of GIFT coach, adoptive parent, and award winning author, Gayle Swift as she reads, The Blessing of Fatherhood.  

May 20, 2021

This is a previous edition originally broadcast in February 2020. Join adoption coaches and adoptive parents, Joann DiStefano and Susan David, as they discuss a few of the adoption myths that persist in our culture.   

Apr 20, 2021

Join hosts, adoption coaches and adoptive parents, Joann DiStefano and Susan David of Growing Intentional Families Together as they host special guest, author and adoption writer, Lori Holden for a discussion about the benefits of openness in adoption.  

Lori’s book The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption: Helping Your Child Grow Up Whole is on required reading lists at adoption agencies around the country, offering guidance on how parents can help their children heal the split between their biology and their biography. Her teachings help adoptive families of all types (foster, international, domestic) grasp the benefits of openness, regardless of contact with a child’s birth parents. Lori helps adoption professionals and adoptive parents shift from an Either/Or paradigm that “splits the baby,” to a BothAnd paradigm that comes from better understanding adoptee experiences. Lori encourages us to parent with openness and intention.

Lori lives near Denver, CO. She and her husband are parents-by-adoption to young adults. She has been listening to adoption perspectives during her 14 years of writing at the award-winning site, LavenderLuz.com. She is also host of the monthly podcast  Adoption: The Long View  and features interviews with adoption experts on timely adoption related topics -- all with the goal of making adoption a kinder, gentler,  and healthier experience for adoptees and those that love them.   

Mar 22, 2021

Adoptive parents and GIFT Family Services' adoption coaches, Joann DiStefano and Susan David are joined by special guest, UK adoption coach and adoptee, Simon Benn. His work with children focuses on showing parents how to help their children be happy, build their children's confidence and strengthen their resilience.

This is the 2nd part of a 2-part interview with Coach Simon and he'll share both his breakthrough T.H.R.I.V.E. model -- Trauma release - overcoming adoption trauma, Healing - repairing emotional wounds, Resilience - bouncing back from setbacks, Identity - learning who you really are, Vision - mapping out your future, and Enjoyment - loving your life -- and how it can help other adoptees to reach happiness.   

Simon Benn, adopted at 5 years old, hails from England. He's a busy coach focusing on showing parents how to help their children be happy, build their children's confidence and strengthen their resilience.  He's been featured in several publications and has coached all over the world. Simon is an avid "supporter/encourager" of adoption, making it healthier and happier.      

 

Mar 17, 2021

Join hosts, GIFT adoption coaches and adoptive parents, Joann DiStefano and Susan David, as they discuss the longing for all people to belong, especially our adoptive children. The saying is that we're all a little Irish on St. Patty's Day; it's both a call for merriment and to be part of the "in" crowd. While we nor our ancestors may not hail from the Emerald Isle, let's explore a few ways to help our kids know who they truly are as they journey forward, Irish or not!

Feb 24, 2021

Adoptive parents and GIFT Family Services' adoption coaches, Joann DiStefano and Susan David are joined by special guest, UK adoption coach and adoptee, Simon Benn. His work with children focuses on showing parents how to help their children be happy, build their children's confidence and strengthen their resilience. In this episode we learn his "story" that led to his work empowering adoptees and adopters to break through to T.H.R.I.V.E., an acronym described by Trauma release - overcoming adoption trauma, Healing - repairing emotional wounds, Resilience - bouncing back from setbacks, Identity - learning who you really are, Vision - mapping out your future, and Enjoyment - loving your life. 

This is the 1st part of a 2-part interview with Coach Simon. Part 1  reveals how his past informed his present work. In Part 2, he shares his T.H.R.I.V.E. model and how it can help other adoptees to breakthrough to happiness.    

     

Jan 23, 2021

Join adoptive coaches, Joann DiStefano and Susan David as  they discuss the importance of "giving voice" to adopted children. They talk about how adoptees' voices are sometimes minimized and offer suggestions on how to adoptive parents can be better listeners.    

Dec 15, 2020

Adoptive parents, adoption coaches and long time hosts of The Essentials for Adoption Attuned Parenting, Joann DiStefano and Susan David are joined by colleague, Sally Ankerfelt to discuss GIFT's upcoming Subscription Series by the same name. Sally and Susan highlight the first course in the series, Getting It Together Before You Adopt, designed for those who are just beginning to think about the adoption option.     

Oct 21, 2020

Join adoption coaches and adoptive parents, Joann DiStefano and Susan David, as they discuss the importance of connection for our adopted children during this difficult COVID 19 era. Listen to a few ideas they share about how to connect. They encourage parents to be Adoption-attuned as they intentionally create rapport and connection with their children, yet following their children's lead as to what works best for them. 

Sep 30, 2020

Join hosts adoption coaches and adoptive parents, Joann DiStefano and Susan David, for a discussion on the importance of handling the disappointments of infertility or the burden of financing an adoption early rather than later so that pain and resentment does not get in the way of  building a solid relationship with  your adopted child.

Sep 3, 2020

Join hosts, adoption coaches and adoptive parents, Joann DiStefano and Susan David, for a discussion about a less explored but very important aspect of Adoption-attunement (AQ), follows ethical practices. 

Jul 29, 2020

Join adoption coaches and parents, Joann DiStefano and Susan David as they  host the fourth and final episode of  a series dedicated to adoption-attuned parenting and the quest for racial equity.  They'll be joined once again by colleagues, Gayle Swift and Sally Ankerfelt, for an interview with special guest, adoption coach and adoptee, Sharon Obazee. Ms. Obazee brings her unique perspective and shares her thoughts on transracial adoption and how we can make a difference in our actions, words, families & communities with a lens particulalrly focused on the intersection of race and adoption.

 

 

Jul 21, 2020

Adoption coaches and parents, Joann DiStefano and Susan David host the third in a four part series of special editions of Essentials for Adoption-attuned Parenting.  They'll be joined once again by colleagues, Gayle Swift and Sally Ankerfelt, for an interview with  special guest Lola Adebara, Founder and Executive Director of Minneapolis based Partnerships for Permanence. Ms. Adebara has a wide variety of social work experience and she'll share how how we can assist adopted and foster young adults to not only to dream big but  develop the tools needed for their success. 

Jun 30, 2020

Adoption coaches and parents, Joann DiStefano and Susan David host the second in a four part series of special editions of Essentials for Adoption-attuned Parenting.  Joined by their colleagues, Gayle Swift and Sally Ankerfelt, they discuss recent events in our country calling for racial justice and how that relates to adopted children of color. They'll share a coaches' perspective on what adoptive families can do to best attune to their adopted children of color 

Jun 24, 2020

Adoption coaches and parents, Joann DiStefano and Susan David  host a special edition of Essentials for Adoption-attuned Parenting.  Joined by their colleagues, Gayle Swift and Sally Ankerfelt, they discuss  recent events in our country calling for racial justice and how that relates to adopted children of color. They share some of the things they could have done better or differently as adoptive parents including believing in the false promise of color blindness. 

Jun 19, 2020

Join your hosts, adoptive parents and adoption coaches, Joann DiStefano and Susan David as they discuss listening to understand your adoptive children rather than to refute, solve, or soothe their concerns or problems. Allowing our children to speak truth aloud is part of Intentional Parenting and Adoption-attunement (AQ) practices that can help us build a more loving and trusting relationship with our children. 

May 18, 2020

Join your hosts, adoptive parents and adoption coaches, Joann DiStefano and Susan David for a discussion on how Intentional Parenting and Adoption-attunement (AQ) practices can help adoptive parents and their children stay or get regulated, build resiliency, and triumph over the challenge of the post-COVID-19 world. 

Apr 15, 2020

This month's The Essentials of Adoption-attunement Parenting touches base with adoptive parents who need to be aware that trauma and attachment issues will persist despite the whole world having stopped. It continues to be important to tune in with yourself first before you can offer help to your children. Take care of making them feel safe, nurture their needs, and then create a sense of belonging. 

Mar 2, 2020

Abandonment is part of adoption. Rejection is the belief that emerges from it. Adoptive families must learn to accept their children for who they are and at the same time, recognize that their presence in their family comes at high personal cost to them. While we have hopes and dreams for them, we have to make space for their attributes, talents, and temperament and not project our desires onto them. Adoption-attunement (AQ) allows us to take our children's insights to heart and reconnect to the idea that they are loved for who they are and awesome in their own right.      

Feb 10, 2020

GIFT adoption coaches, Joann DiStefano and Susan David, discuss the myths that have pervaded adoption for decades. These myths are detrimental to the development of our adopted children. This short discussion emphasizes why we, as adoptive parents, need to find the courage to challenge these myths in our everyday life.     

Jan 10, 2020

GIFT adoption coaches, Joann DiStefano and Susan David, discuss how the concepts of inducement, intentionality, and commitment work with Adoption-attuned parenting.     

Dec 4, 2019

GIFT adoption coaches, Joann DiStefano and Susan David, discuss why intentional parenting is a must for adoptive parents and share some examples of what you can do to better attune with your adopted child.  

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